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Pin by Matt Darling

Or, How Writer’s Block Makes You Super Fun at Parties

The blessing and curse of being a creative person is that everything you do depends on you doing something. You are the underlying force in everything you make. Your thoughts, your feelings, your experiences, your desires, your fascination with competitive mooing or Oscar Wilde’s wallpaper — this is what fuels your art. But when you’re stuck, when you’re staring at a blank page or screen or canvas for hours/weeks/years, when you’re reaching into the annals of your mind and all you hear are crickets and the gentle swoosh of a tumbleweed rolling past, when you’ve convinced yourself you have “nothing to say” creatively anymore, what do you do?

I’ve tried just about everything. I’ve read and re-read my favorite books on writing: Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird; William Zinsser’s On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction; Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir on the Craft; Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones; Adair Lara’s Naked, Drunk and Writing, among others. I’ve attended countless book readings and the perennially packed, annual Litquake festival in San Francisco. I’ve taken a few one-day classes, and a far-flung workshop with a lovely lady writer and editor who has since become a friend. I even made the pilgrimage back to the place where my writing career began, only to realize how much a decade can change a person (namely, me) and a place (in this case, Maui) so much so that you can never really “go back.” I know, right? Duh.

And I’ll keep trying anything to help me get unstuck. Here are some things that work for me…

1. From Arias to Ziglibithy: Never underestimate the power of music.

When I’m working steadily on a creative project, I like listening to classical music or instrumental hip-hop. But when I’m stuck or having a hard time getting started, I have a playlist for the music that reconnects me to who I am — my all-time favorite hits: these are the songs that make my soul sing.

In “blocked” times, I think it matters less what kind of music you listen to — it’s more about using what might inspire you or change your perspective in that particular moment. Sometimes that’ll mean cueing up Liz Phair’s Exile in Guyville to recall happier days spent in Doc Martens and babydoll dresses. Occasionally it’ll require a cathartic cattlecore screamfest via Hank Williams III’s Straight to Hell or an impromptu private dance-a-thon of The Chemical Brothers’ Dig Your Own Hole. Whatever music you choose, the point is to stop the lonely hamster wheel of rumination by giving your mind something else to focus on and hopefully, kick out those jams.

2. Exploitation: That’s what friends are for.

When I’m feeling low or like the Grisly Goblin of Self Doubt has been sitting on my head for too long whispering terrible things into my ear with its talons wrapped around my throat giving me a serious neck cramp, having a quick chat with a friend should take that kink right out. Like music, a talk with a good friend can remind me that I am interesting and/or funny and/or smart, that I did manage to have a life before the blockage, and I will likely live through this, too.

BONUS TIP: I don’t know about you, but my friends are infinitely more interesting, funnier and smarter than me. I use this to my advantage. When they say clever shit, I write it down. This works especially well when there’s drinking involved. (My friends are used to my creepy behavior lurking about at parties and bars writing things down in my little notepad, and they’re cool with how I exploit — er, pay homage to their brilliance. Be sure you have some kind of similar agreement with your friends. Or at the very least, teach them the difference between saying, “Off the record” vs. “Not for attribution.”)

3. Take a Hike: Be like Nike and just do it, homie!

By stepping outside and engaging your senses — breathing in the fresh air, feeling the breeze on your face, smelling the faint aroma of honeysuckle or eucalyptus or cannabis (I live in Northern California) — you are getting out of your head and back into your body, even just for a moment. This acts as a refresh button for your brain. The effect is greatly increased by doing something active out there but that’s up to you. No pressure…

No, really. Do it NOW.

4. Learn Something New.

Although I’ve long ago given up pursuing a career in marine biology, I’m still fascinated by science. I regularly study social and life science books, articles and podcasts as a way to discover and examine the world around me. I’ll read anything by Mary Roach, Diane Ackerman, or Natalie Angier, and all of The Best American Science and Nature Writing book series. I’m addicted to podcasts like NPR’s Invisibilia, Hidden BrainTED Radio HourRadiolab and Revisionist History.

I’m also attempting to learn Spanish — or I should say, picking up where my high school education left off — on my Duolingo app. Because we recently bought an old house, I often DIY light repairs and beautification projects by researching techniques online. (I also lurk in hardware and paint stores.) And because I am not a natural in the kitchen, I frequently follow recipes with the precision of a neurosurgeon.

I think when we’re stuck, we tend to play the same loop in our heads. Learning something is a way to literally change your brain. Introducing stimuli can potentially trigger new patterns of thinking, and voila! Discovering how ant-made antimicrobials could help humans fight diseasehas suddenly freed your mind for some creative bioengineering of its own.

5. Forgive Yourself.

Yup.

Personally, this is the hardest one. If you’re like me, you will beat yourself up relentlessly over having any kind of mental block. In Buddhism, they call this the “second arrow of suffering.” The “first arrow” is whatever malicious malarkey is going on; the “second arrow” is how you react to that awfulness. Generally speaking, the first arrow comes with its own pain, so why add more suffering on top of that? Why stick yourself with another damn arrow??

Meditation, or just some methodical breathing, can help with this kind of radical acceptance. The truth is, everyone gets stuck or faces a crossroads at some point. In a creative life, it’s all part of the process.

In conclusion (and also, Note to Self)…

When stuck, try one or more of the following, in no particular order: Listen to music. Talk to somebody. Learn something. Go outside. Smell some weed. Dance. Let it go. Everything has the potential for inspiration — including you! Nothing lasts forever, including this creative paralysis. Relax. Breathe. It’s going to be OK. It might even change you for the better.